Superman Returns — Review

Today we review a simple proposition: the idea that a man returns to a world he has left behind. Since he’s been gone, that world has learned to live without him. It has even reached the conclusion that the world doesn’t need him back. We’ll also consider Superman Returns.

The 2006 film was Warner Bros. attempting to relaunch its Superman franchise. The route taken meant the third and fourth Christopher Reeve films were gently redacted. In this universe, Superman went AWOL following the events of Superman II. Brandon Routh revives the Man of Steel, and despite a strong performance, it proved to be career kryptonite.  His channelling of Reeve was more homage than bad impression. The lack of acceptance is confusing to this day.

Maybe his muted costume dampened the nostalgia. Gone was the bright red and blue, replaced with a maroon cape and dark blue suit, which brings back memories of Reeve’s Superman fighting a dirtied evil version of himself in Superman III (it’s still canon to me). The symbol was shrunken down. Maybe deep space searches for lost home planets is a dirty business and shrinks your clothes in the same way leaving them in the tumble dryer does.

Kevin Spacey does a solid job as Lex Luthor. No one will ever be able to top Gene Hackman but this is as close as we’ll likely get. His sidekick – Kitty Kowalski, played by Parker Posey – is the casting issue that highlights where the film fell apart. Visually, the movie works. Even the addition of a potential Superboy, Lois Lane’s son whose date of conception aligns with their love affair from Superman II, works. But the main dynamic in a Superman story is between Lois and Clark. In Superman Returns, Kate Bosworth does not have the presence or chemistry to carry that role.

Sadly, we are reminded throughout the movie of what Lois should (and could) have been like every time Parker Posey is on the screen. She has the sass we expect from Lois.

The flat Lois is something the movie never recovers from. You almost realise why Kal-El decided to disappear for five years. Bryan Singer, after the success of his X-Men movies, understood the assignment. He tailored this film for a DC audience and played to the strengths of the universe it inhabits, but he couldn’t save the disconnect from fans once the key chemistry was missing. A weak Lois is like relaunching the Batman franchise and making David Schwimmer the Joker. Sure, it may make sense on paper to someone stuck in an office. But it won’t work. In Bosworth’s case, it didn’t work.

It’s a shame, because that muted, muddied suit looks more inviting than David Corenswet’s version. The smaller symbol beats James Gunn’s use of the Kingdom Come variant. It’s a better movie too (but we can discuss that another day). For now, we look back on Routh as the man who followed Reeve and never got the chance to make us believe a man could fly again.

6/10

(It’s also good to be returning to the site after a lengthy lay-off.)

Cagefighter: Worlds Collide – Review

The movie that Dean Ambrose announced he’d be featuring in when he left WWE, before becoming Jon Moxley again and appearing in AEW, dropped this weekend for a one night only Fite TV PPV. He’s billed here by his real name – Jonathan Good – and plays Randy Stone, a pro-wrestler turned MMA fighter. Was the one night gamble, Mox-risk worth it?

Fair play to director/writer Jesse Quinones for allowing Moxley to ad-lib and breathe authenticity into the role. And fair play to Moxley and Jay “Christian” Reso (who appears as an MMA podcast presenter) for facing the digs at pro-wrestling head-on.

The premise is five-time MMA light-heavyweight champion, Reiss Gibbons, is offered a big-money crossover bout. A Clive Balls Top Tip here, when appealing to a mainstream audience, saying the guy is “Five Time Champion” does not mean five successful title defences. It does here.

Head of MMA organisation Legends, Max Black – played by Gina Gershon whom men from a certain age will recall with misty, faraway eyes from Bound – sells the idea to Gibbons’ best friend and agent, the charismatic Reggie, played by Elijah Baker.

Baker may be too endearing for his own good, he comes across as more real and engaging than Alexander Tanikie-Montagnani who plays Reiss. That isn’t to say the lead is weak – he’s not – he just lacks some of the Rocky-esque humour needed to offset the troubles.

For those who need a crash course on the formula here, familiarise yourself with Rocky III. It does depart from that style but you’ll appreciate the general gist. Continuing the nod to Rocky, Georgia Bradner plays the Adrian character, known as Ellie. She’s a tad different, she wants her man back in the ring so she can get the horse she always wanted. She’s cute, but I wouldn’t want to annoy her. There’s enough council crey-crey lurking in her expressions to make me rather face a pissed Randy Stone in a cage than tell her no.

A special shout out should go to Chuck Liddell. He’s a pure MMA fighter, dipping his toe into the acting waters, and he came across as one of the most natural on screen.

The downsides of the movie would be some of the production values. It’s clear there is a staged audience during ring-walks and no stadium during the fights. But these are cancelled out by the intensity of the fight scenes. It’d be easy to be dismissive before the film of how the combat scenes will play out but each bout is gripping and hard-hitting.

It could have benefitted from more character work, something a sequel could explore and there’s no doubt the many AEW fans who flocked to see the PPV would have enjoyed more Moxley time. He proves that whether playing heel or face, he’s unmissable entertainment. His angst at not being taken seriously in the early movie is top drawer, reaching a climax when he draws on peak Mr T.

Mr T Clubber Lang Dreaming of a Real Man

Overall, a good film, well worth checking out when it gets a wider release.

7/10

47 Metres Down – Review

Bit of confusion to clear up with this title’s title before we begin. Being English, it’s Metres, other territories have named it 47 Meters Down, and some of you purchased leaked DVDs with the title In the Deep. Maybe that name was dropped to avoid puns about the movie being shallow?

They needn’t have worried on that score. Okay, it’s played pretty simple on the emotional stakes – cheesy, even. But it’s a movie that wants to rely on the visual treats rather than build a character study with sharks in the background.

Jaws did that decades ago and it’ll never be surpassed.

Obligatory mention of Spielberg’s classic, because this is a killer shark movie, taken care of, let us take a look at Johannes Roberts’ attempt at a claustrophobic thriller.

It’s been billed as a horror but it really isn’t. Sure, there’s blood and some gore but the threat of not surviving is more psychological than monster lurking in the darkness chills.

The story centres (centers) around two sisters, Lisa and Kate. Lisa, played by Mandy Moore, is the dark-haired conservative type. They’re holidaying (vacation) in Mexico, Lisa is hiding a recent break up but finally confides in Kate.

Believing she was dumped for being boring, adventurous younger sis convinces her to kiss some Mexican boys and go cage diving with sharks. Like you do. Kate is played here by Claire Holt, proving to Maggie Grace that her younger self has been replaced.

Hopefully, Holt will go on to make more than a fleeting appearance in this generation’s Lost and Taken.

Obviously, the cage snaps with the two girls inside, otherwise the movie would be called 5 Metres Down (or 5 Meters Down, or In the First Bit of the Sea where You Can Still See the Boat’s Reflection).

Lisa’s fear of taking the dive is played up well and the director does will to avoid playing for lots of cheap jumps once they become stranded. This makes up for the dialogue that plays as poorly hidden commentary. However, towards the end, the sense of actual peril fades.

The girls are also told facts that we know must come into play or they wouldn’t get a mention. Hence, the penultimate scene could be seen by some as Jumping the Shark (see what I did there?).

Roberts can be forgiven for this. It still manages to work as a whole and with a movie clearly reliant on (subpar?) CGI, he appears to have made an effort to use tension rather than a series of further farfetched shark attacks.

Overall, a decent movie. The scale and budget means it was never aiming to be a massive blockbuster but it has already turned a tidy profit. It’s a top-level TV movie that deserves the chance to be seen in cinemas.

6/10

Spider-Man: Homecoming – Review

The MCU continues unrelenting, with it, Marvel open their arms and welcome into the fold a name that faces few equals: Spider-Man. Despite two solid showing as Andrew Garfield’s Amazing variant, Sony decided if you can’t beat them, sell back some rights and take a cut of the profits.

For Marvel’s part, they decided the best way to keep those profits high was to not deviate from what has worked before. This doesn’t mean a rehash of former Spider-Man movies. Oh no, not at all. It means shoehorning Peter Parker into the MCU by stripping away his uniqueness.

This is where two opinions on this latest film will tail off from one another.

If you love all things MCU, then you won’t mind this alternative direction for Spidey. If you hold Spider-Man dear to your heart, brace yourself for an onscreen character assassination.

This isn’t the Spider-Man many grew up with. There’s no driving motive behind his foray into fighting crime. He isn’t burdened by loss in the family. He isn’t crooning over Mary Jane (she’s here, hiding in plain sight, but for now, he half-fancies a girl called Liz). There’s no such thing as a Spidey Sense and his best mate isn’t going to become the Green Goblin.

So, what do we have instead?

A boy that was bitten by a spider (he briefly tells his buddy this, no origin drama to deal with) who can walk on walls and ceilings. That’s it. The Spider-Man suit is actually a Tony Stark design, complete with visual/audio guidance.

The Marvel Cinematic Universe has turned Spider-Man into Iron Man Jr.

Such is the simplicity – and deceit of the true nature of the character – the plot and film remains decidedly average. Generic set plays on peril, and a villain – played by the excellent but left with little to explore, Michael Keaton – whose integrity and overall threat is undermined by Iron Man existing in this world.

There is hope Keaton can reprise his role as Vulture in later films, and the way he was a property salvager working on the post-Avengers New York debris, able to come across alien tech but put out of business by Stark and the authorities, is the sort of loose tie-in the film benefits from.

However, the overbearing MCU connections even kill this element.

There are good interactions between Jacob Batalon’s turn as a Ned and Tom Holland’s Peter Parker. The identity of Spider-Man is accidently revealed to Parker’s geeky best pal, adding a fresh element but this should be the unseen cement in the movie, not a standout plus.

This could be the moment Marvel jumps the shark on the big screen. From the Captain America school videos during classes to the Stark created Spider-Man. It’s too cheesy, too much comic book for the screen. And not the best sort of comic book. It’s the dated, outmoded variant most haven’t lifted from a shelf in years.

Marvel are either on a collision course with creativity or cleverly tapping into a dumbed down audience. Either way, it makes for a very average Homecoming for the character that should be the jewel in Marvel’s crown.

5/10

(P.S. Don’t stay to the final end credits scene, it’s a lame joke and offers no insight or progression to future MCU stories.)

Ghost in the Shell (2017) – Review

The fuss of casting a white actress in the lead role of Ghost in the Shell can at last take a (temporary) backseat. It helps that the actor in question is Scarlett Johansson, she has the screen presence to divert attention to what is important. As always, that should be the plot.

Playing the role of the Major, a rank we see her attain here after a short opening sequence that reveals her “creation” and/or alteration. She is Mira Killian, her brain is planted into a perfect engineered cybernetic body made by Hanka Robotics. The CEO there, Cutter, sees her as a weapon and wants her up and running as soon as possible.

The designer, Juliette Binoche’s Dr Ouelet (because white people make, as well as look, like the best of Asia in this future world), sees Major as a living person. Most definitely not an object. And therein begins our moral tale of consciousness and what constitutes life. However, unlike the animated original, these themes – along with the entire movie – have been made more accessible for a mainstream audience.

It means the deeper philosophical questions have been dumbed down and the action sequences, instead pioneering like its forbearer, become generic and lifeless. They do pay homage to scenes from the original, at times it’s as if moments have been lifted from there. And the authenticity of the environment is solid throughout.

It falls down when it comes to adding suspense and the journey Major undertakes to reveal her true identity (it isn’t Killian). It’s noble they tried to add the backstory in what they must be hoping is a franchise, but everything is far too obvious.

Whether it be Hanko turning on Major, to the main plot of seemingly malevolent AI that is looking to bring down Hanko. This third-party intelligence is at odds with Major’s views of the world, leading to Hanko losing faith, despite Dr Ouelet’s protests.

It seems tech companies like to be run by bad guys once they’re making revolutionary strides forward. Hanko is like RoboCop’s OCP. A company in deep with the government and run lawlessly from within.

Visually, it can be stunning at times. A body suit clad Johansson is always going to be easy on the eye, and as mentioned, the set pieces breathe life into the world they are trying to replicate from the original. Perhaps the finale goes too big on the Hollywood action, and the setting feels at odds with all that came before it.

But as something to look at, whether it be Major, Hideo (we see why he needs the goggles), the city, or most of the fight scenes, it deserves the title: Ghost in the Shell.

It even tries to carry the heart of the original and gets a free pass, this time, because of the leading lady.

Sadly, it just lacks that something special beyond the performance of Johansson to make it noteworthy. The 1995 version was ground-breaking in many ways, this is the exact opposite. It plays it safe, using standard techniques and methods we’ve seen a million times before in countless forgettable movies.

Hopefully there is enough of an interest to allow Section 9 another chance but without Rupert Sanders in the director’s chair.

5/10