Category: Movies

Superman Returns — Review

Daniel SimmsLeave a comment

Today we review a simple proposition: the idea that a man returns to a world he has left behind. Since he’s been gone, that world has learned to live without him. It has even reached the conclusion that the world doesn’t need him back. We’ll also consider Superman Returns.

The 2006 film was Warner Bros. attempting to relaunch its Superman franchise. The route taken meant the third and fourth Christopher Reeve films were gently redacted. In this universe, Superman went AWOL following the events of Superman II. Brandon Routh revives the Man of Steel, and despite a strong performance, it proved to be career kryptonite.  His channelling of Reeve was more homage than bad impression. The lack of acceptance is confusing to this day.

Maybe his muted costume dampened the nostalgia. Gone was the bright red and blue, replaced with a maroon cape and dark blue suit, which brings back memories of Reeve’s Superman fighting a dirtied evil version of himself in Superman III (it’s still canon to me). The symbol was shrunken down. Maybe deep space searches for lost home planets is a dirty business and shrinks your clothes in the same way leaving them in the tumble dryer does.

Kevin Spacey does a solid job as Lex Luthor. No one will ever be able to top Gene Hackman but this is as close as we’ll likely get. His sidekick – Kitty Kowalski, played by Parker Posey – is the casting issue that highlights where the film fell apart. Visually, the movie works. Even the addition of a potential Superboy, Lois Lane’s son whose date of conception aligns with their love affair from Superman II, works. But the main dynamic in a Superman story is between Lois and Clark. In Superman Returns, Kate Bosworth does not have the presence or chemistry to carry that role.

Sadly, we are reminded throughout the movie of what Lois should (and could) have been like every time Parker Posey is on the screen. She has the sass we expect from Lois.

The flat Lois is something the movie never recovers from. You almost realise why Kal-El decided to disappear for five years. Bryan Singer, after the success of his X-Men movies, understood the assignment. He tailored this film for a DC audience and played to the strengths of the universe it inhabits, but he couldn’t save the disconnect from fans once the key chemistry was missing. A weak Lois is like relaunching the Batman franchise and making David Schwimmer the Joker. Sure, it may make sense on paper to someone stuck in an office. But it won’t work. In Bosworth’s case, it didn’t work.

It’s a shame, because that muted, muddied suit looks more inviting than David Corenswet’s version. The smaller symbol beats James Gunn’s use of the Kingdom Come variant. It’s a better movie too (but we can discuss that another day). For now, we look back on Routh as the man who followed Reeve and never got the chance to make us believe a man could fly again.

6/10

(It’s also good to be returning to the site after a lengthy lay-off.)

Cagefighter: Worlds Collide – Review

Clive BallsLeave a comment

The movie that Dean Ambrose announced he’d be featuring in when he left WWE, before becoming Jon Moxley again and appearing in AEW, dropped this weekend for a one night only Fite TV PPV. He’s billed here by his real name – Jonathan Good – and plays Randy Stone, a pro-wrestler turned MMA fighter. Was the one night gamble, Mox-risk worth it?

Fair play to director/writer Jesse Quinones for allowing Moxley to ad-lib and breathe authenticity into the role. And fair play to Moxley and Jay “Christian” Reso (who appears as an MMA podcast presenter) for facing the digs at pro-wrestling head-on.

The premise is five-time MMA light-heavyweight champion, Reiss Gibbons, is offered a big-money crossover bout. A Clive Balls Top Tip here, when appealing to a mainstream audience, saying the guy is “Five Time Champion” does not mean five successful title defences. It does here.

Head of MMA organisation Legends, Max Black – played by Gina Gershon whom men from a certain age will recall with misty, faraway eyes from Bound – sells the idea to Gibbons’ best friend and agent, the charismatic Reggie, played by Elijah Baker.

Baker may be too endearing for his own good, he comes across as more real and engaging than Alexander Tanikie-Montagnani who plays Reiss. That isn’t to say the lead is weak – he’s not – he just lacks some of the Rocky-esque humour needed to offset the troubles.

For those who need a crash course on the formula here, familiarise yourself with Rocky III. It does depart from that style but you’ll appreciate the general gist. Continuing the nod to Rocky, Georgia Bradner plays the Adrian character, known as Ellie. She’s a tad different, she wants her man back in the ring so she can get the horse she always wanted. She’s cute, but I wouldn’t want to annoy her. There’s enough council crey-crey lurking in her expressions to make me rather face a pissed Randy Stone in a cage than tell her no.

A special shout out should go to Chuck Liddell. He’s a pure MMA fighter, dipping his toe into the acting waters, and he came across as one of the most natural on screen.

The downsides of the movie would be some of the production values. It’s clear there is a staged audience during ring-walks and no stadium during the fights. But these are cancelled out by the intensity of the fight scenes. It’d be easy to be dismissive before the film of how the combat scenes will play out but each bout is gripping and hard-hitting.

It could have benefitted from more character work, something a sequel could explore and there’s no doubt the many AEW fans who flocked to see the PPV would have enjoyed more Moxley time. He proves that whether playing heel or face, he’s unmissable entertainment. His angst at not being taken seriously in the early movie is top drawer, reaching a climax when he draws on peak Mr T.

Mr T Clubber Lang Dreaming of a Real Man

Overall, a good film, well worth checking out when it gets a wider release.

7/10

Brightburn – Review

Clive BallsLeave a comment

Let me get this out of the way before we start: I think Superman is a wet fart. He’s all powerful, like a god so should never actually struggle. He’s an annoying Goody Two-Shoes. I see him as a snowflake’s wet dream. But stripping away the poor execution, the dude has a cool origin story. There’s solid potential.

Why all this talk of Superman for a horror movie review? I hear you ask. It’s because the creators of Brightburn must also feel the same way about Supes. Sure, the premise is good, let’s just give it some beef. This leads to a cooler version of the Kents. Elizabeth Banks (fitter than any version of Martha Kent) plays the surrogate mother to the crash-landed alien. Brandon Breyer is our new Clark Kent, played by a Jackson A. Dunn you wouldn’t trust watering your plants.

He’s a creepy little shit, and his step-dad twigs on which leads to trouble in the family home. Not as much trouble as what’s heading the way of anyone who Bad Breyer takes a dislike to. His landing pod keeps attempting to make contact with him, sending spooky alien messages while he’s sleeping. Unlike the Krytonians, the planet Brandon’s from wants world domination.

Full props to the movie makers for producing this on such a tight budget. There is a fair amount of CGI but it never looks poor. The horror won’t have you jumping or squirming, it’s a little by-the-numbers but it’s a good alternative take on a superhero trope.

Director David Yarovesky is up next for DC, presumably making them reluctant to start lawsuits for a blatent ripoff of their leading property.

It’s worth checking out, if only because it serves as proof kids become a pain in the arse once they hit puberty.

7/10

Venom – Review

Clive BallsLeave a comment

It’s quite fitting that the first movie I review here is about a guy coping with multiple personalities while running around in a mask. One that suspiciously looks like Spider-Man headwear. Okay, before we dive into the Venom review, we need to address the Spidey Elephant in the room. Venom without Spider-Man is like The Joker without Batman. Well, they’re gonna do that soon enough so we can try our best to move past it.

Let’s face it kids, if a person like me who has spent large chunks of his adult life wearing modified Spider-Man masks can get over the altered origin story, you should try too. But I’ll not lie, the film was always going to struggle with such constraints. The problem is Sony losing its balls. Their best Spider-Man was the amazing Andrew Garfield. Had they carried on with those movies, this Venom could have been the proper version.

Instead, we relocate to San Francisco but retain Eddie Brock as a New Yorker. He had to move to get away from some trouble. You know, the trouble of your origin story joining the MCU without you. Thankfully the strong chemistry between the leads, Tom Hardy and Michelle Williams, means we soon forget about webslingers.

What we have is an alien symbiote that needs a host. Evil baddie Carlton Drake is trying to assimilate humans and the aliens, Venom – as he becomes known to us – escapes and chooses Eddie. What follows is decent action and a fun ride. Picture The Mask but with adult violence, superheroes and a good love interest.

It deserves a sequel and hopefully some Sony exec will grow a pair and bring the best Spidey back for a showdown.

7/10

Justice League – Review

Daniel SimmsLeave a comment

“You can’t save the world alone.” Great tagline. You might not be able to save the world alone, but you can destroy the universe (in this case, the DC Extended) by not having a singular vision.

DC’s problem with this shared movie experiment has been having the confidence to stick to its guns. Batman v Superman wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Fine, that’s what makes the world go ‘round – differences.

Marvel has its successful onscreen identify, DC used to have one too.

Justice League begins with the promise that Zack Snyder has mastered the darker but deeper roots of his characters. The Batman scenes work especially well and when the team are finally assembled there’s a Watchmen feel, which is no bad thing.

But there’s no getting away from the cut-and-shut feel of having two directors helm the movie. It’d be unfair to assume Joss Whedon tried to shoehorn his Avengers style on a near-finished product. The meddling obviously came from the studio.

We’re left with an opening that retains the best parts of Dawn of Justice, with the new members adding the correct amount of light. Ezra Miller’s Flash being the standout find. His humour is always on point, his quirkiness the balance the squad needs. Wonder Woman has been the world’s favourite new hero this year – Flash is the best.

It all starts well, from recruiting a reluctant Cyborg (Ray Fisher has his work cut out bringing this character to life), to the grisly and instantly at ease Aquaman. His backstory is teased in preparation for the solo movie and Jason Momoa looks more than capable of carrying that flick.

Gal Gadot is excellent again and acts as the light to Batman’s darkness (a role usually reserved for Superman). She’s the heart in what becomes a big soulless action mess.

The plot is Wonder Woman in style. We’re dealing with hidden boxes of godlike power that are being targeted by intergalactic CGI-baddie Steppenwolf. It’s pretty weak and lacking depth for a DC movie, and the CGI is terrible, but it’s okay. It’s all okay, until…

Superman returns. This is when a great movie with seeds planted in Batman v Superman (remember that Bruce Wayne/Flash “dream” sequence where he saw the world run by an evil Superman?) absolutely bottles it.

A hint of the Superman befitting with the plot is quickly discarded, the rewrites harder to hide than the poor CGI.

Cinematographer Fabian Wagner has admitted he even filmed shots with Henry Cavill in the famous black Supes outfit. It should have been a different return to the blue suit than a quick tantrum and a creepy scene with Lois Lane in a field.

If Superman was unlikable compared to Ben Affleck’s Batman in the previous meeting, he’s a complete turnoff now. The movie sinks the second he appears.

After a good build, fans are left with a sham of a movie. Neither taking the best of the previous instalments or becoming a copy of its rival.

This should have been a part one of two and was silently cut down to one movie. At this rate, Warner Bros. will call time on the whole botched affair and return to making successful and critically acclaimed stand-alone movies.

That’s if there’s any justice in the world.

5/10