Over the years, even when my interest with WWE was at a low point, I’ve checked out where  the Royal Rumble and WrestleMania weekends fall. I haven’t always followed through with a watch but there has been many a time I’ve gone in cold, totally out of touch with the product, and given The Show of Shows a chance. 

It is the professional wrestling world’s version of Super Bowl.

This year, despite watching some RAW and SmackDown on the road to WrestleMania, it’s already been decided that a live watch is off the table. The two night fiasco has devolved into a pair of cards that leaves one a little deflated. Sure, the spectacle will be grandiose, there’s bound to be the odd unexpected show stealer, but it looks like 80% mundane filler. 

Cena and Rhodes—even with the poor follow-up to the climax of Elimination Chamber—is still intriguing. I have booed Cena more than most over the years, but the case for him winning a (WWE) record breaking world title outweighs the arguments for Cody Rhodes retaining. The Punk/Reigns/Rollins Triple Threat match has me interested. The glutton for punishment that I am, is hoping for a Seth Rollins win. I don’t expect it. It also shouldn’t headline Night 1. But The Fed seems to be pandering to Phil Brooks. 

Outside of these two matches, others are only catching my attention for the same reason I slow down to look at a car crash.

Charlotte Flair and Tiffany Stratton have about as much chemistry as Seth Rollins and Becky Lynch. You’d never put them together. Unlike the latter, the women’s match we’ll be made to watch at WrestleMania won’t have the unexpected spark and outcome of the Lopez/Quin union. Flair has reverted to type and rather than think of the bigger picture—the match—she has thought only about herself.

I understand that veterans need to put the next generation through their paces. They need to test the new-blood to see if they’re fit to stand at the top. But what Flair does isn’t tough love. It’s self-serving. Or . . . perhaps she is a genius, because there’s real eyes on this encounter now, despite the tepid heat we saw at the start of the build.

Another car crash has been the Jey Uso and Gunther build. WWE fans have a tendency to be simple creatures when it comes to story. While they may complain that AEW lacks storylines, they miss the nuances and long-term dynamic Tony Khan’s promotion provides. In The Fed, just getting everyone to shout “Yeet!” is supposed to be enough to carry a World Title bout. It isn’t. Gunther’s in ring skills will be sorely wasted on Uso, and should he lose, a cheap five minutes of getting the crowd to Yeet along will severely diminish the value of the championship.

WWE knows this has been a weak build to the weekend. You only have to look at the media and PR in recent days. We’ve seen a terrible waxwork of Triple H. Roman Reigns take flack for saying he likes Trump. CM Punk criticised and immediately responding for staying on the payroll of a “MAGA company”. And Nick Khan taking time to mention AEW. Oh, and The Rock posting a pic of him in a NJPW T-shirt.

It’s a classic trick political parties use: if you don’t want people to notice what you’re doing (or not doing), give them distractions.

This further underlines how they have fumbled the John Cena heel move. And instead of making a stellar, must see card, they have made something over the two nights that resembles a set of House shows for a tour.

They haven’t even got every title on the line or represented over the two nights. How can that be? The Show of Shows with more filler than substance.

The best way to watch this year’s WrestleMania will be a day late and using Netflix’s fast-forward function. When AEW suffers a dip, it’s still guaranteed its upcoming PPV will be top-notch. With this weekend’s card as it currently stands, it would take something close to perfection from each performer to turn lacklustre build, uninspiring match choices, and weak media interviews to elevate it to anything approaching Mid.

I hope WWE can prove me wrong. If only for the people attending in person who had to re-mortgage their homes to afford a ticket.